The Only Way Out (Is Through)
It may seem as if I abandoned this blog. If you thought that, I don’t blame you. But I haven’t. I’ve just been “going through.”
One of my favorite sayings — a mantra for me — came from the incredibly awful ’80’s movie Flash Gordon. The King of the Tree People (played by Timothy Dalton) has Flash in this gnarly forest and Flash has to find his way out.
“Sometimes,” Dalton says, “The only way out is through.”
We were living in Florida at the time. TJ had quit playing and was working for the Tour. I was deep into trying to control what I could not control. Aside from having a crush on Dalton, which is why I was paying attention to the scene, this line just stood out to me. Little did I know then how that line would impact me a few years later.
Life fell apart after we moved back north. I liken it to a nuclear explosion. Everything changed for us — career-wise, financially, and in our marriage. I fell into a black hole, but fortunately I fell in the right place.
I was wrapped in support and love. I found some of the best friends I’ve had in my life. And part of what I learned (which was massive and life-changing) was that there is no way around the times that are bad. No way to avoid those emotions and fears that I’d been stuffing pretty much my entire life.
The only way out is through.
To go through all of it. Step by step. Day by day. Sometimes, minute by minute. If you’re in a tunnel, you must go through it to get out into the light again.
That’s what I did.
About three years later, I won a state-wide speech and professional development competition for businesswomen. The speech was about an obstacle for women in the workplace. I chose my number one obstacle – fear. And I talked about risk as my ally. I was asked to give that speech to other women’s groups all around New York State.
By then I knew that not only must you go through — you may also have to “take the leap and build your wings on the way down.”
Sometimes I’ve found myself on a figurative cliff. I have to make the choice to either be pushed off or jump.
I’m back on the cliff again. I feel pushed. The economy and my own doubts about what I should do next are forcing me in a new direction.
I have no idea what to do. If I have to be on a cliff, I’d much rather be on the cliffside of Santorini Island in Greece, sitting on a terrace overlooking the Aegean. But instead I’m where I am, and the “view” isn’t pretty.
While I’ve been away from this blog, Tiger’s life blew up. And he too will only find his way out by “going through.” No one is immune.
So I will keep telling myself to keep going. Go through the scary dark forest of the Tree King. Feel the fear and keep going despite it. I can survive. I’ve done it before.
If you want to listen in and it helps you, we can make it out together.
Phil Bundy posted: 17 Mar at 1:45 pm
Hi Marci, Thanks for sharing your post. As we all know, life is a journey. Even when difficult, follow your dreams, and truth and happiness will follow… eventually! Best to one of my best friends, Phil
meg colombo posted: 17 Mar at 6:22 pm
Loved your post. Actually … loved your tags, too. I see those tags before I actually read your blog. So, I’m thinking that there is now way that these tags really fit this post. And yet they do. Very nicely, I might add. Thanks.
Helen Ingram posted: 30 Mar at 2:32 pm
Eloquently put. Seeing past the obvious is so difficult. Faith and hope are essential. Thanks for your encouraging post.
Emma L. Devlin posted: 13 Apr at 9:50 am
I think the only comfort this time around is, (virtually) everyone else is standing on that cliff with you. I’ve been through much myself. It is hard to keep the bitterness at bay when, this time around, it is other people’s greed that has led to this downturn but placing blame never solved a situation. We survivors muddle through, come out stronger in the end and help people along the way. That is our function and we are blessed to have it, though it doesn’t feel that way sometimes.
I suggest we form a pact that when we get through this, which we surely will, we remind each other to soak up the joy. That way if this happens again, we’ll have more fuel to get us through.